Is where the heart is
According to the Roman philosopher and commander Gaius Plinius Secundus, “home is where the heart is.”
For most of us, this is true. We consider everything that is close to our hearts as our home. In this line of thought, a home doesn’t have to be a physical structure nor a dwelling. For instance, when you’re with your loved ones you feel that you are at home. You are accepted. You are happy. You are contented and in bliss.
But what about those who grew up in a sad or traumatic home?
Those who did may not call their houses their homes. They may not consider their oppressors (spouse or parent(s) who physically, mentally, or emotionally abused them) their home. But subconsciously, the experiences they’ve had at home have a high tendency to be with them for the rest of their lives, causing them to act almost similarly to their abusers. In this aspect, the abusive behaviors have become their ‘home.’
A simple yet proven observation is child abuse. According to research, those who have been abused as a child are more likely to become abusers themselves when they become adults. In fact, they may not only end up abusing their own children but they’re more like to abuse alcohol and illegal substances as well.
Home and money
Home is where our development takes place. It’s where the programming takes place. So whether we were very much loved or very much abused, the behaviors we learn at home are very likely to stick with us for the rest of our lives.
This is true with our behavior with money as well.
The difficult part is millions, if not billions, of households don’t even talk about money. Most simply don’t have the knowledge about money to tell their kids while others consider it immoral or worldly to talk about money at home. It’s funny because according to studies by divorce lawyers and accountants, money is the most common cause of marriage arguments.
Now try to look back. When you were growing up, were your parents open about the discussion of money or wealth at home? Or were they arguing about money a whole lot? What were their ideas about money if ever they talked about it?
Because that’s also another issue, our parents may have talked about money as we were growing up but they probably told us a different view about money:
- “Study hard so you can get a job so you can earn a big salary from your future company!”
- “If they’re rich, they’re probably doing something illegal.”
- “Money doesn’t grow on trees!”
- “You’ve gotta work hard to earn money.”
- “Money is the root of all evil.”
- “Money can’t buy happiness.”
Expecting apple from a mango tree
If we can’t expect an apple from a mango tree, then there’s no reason for us to expect ourselves to become financially savvy if our parents weren’t financially savvy, right?
Another step in this trail of thought is, if our parents aren’t wealthy and we want to be wealthy – then it’s only logical to seek financial education and advice from someone who is wealthy or is working on his or her way to wealth. It would be illogical to ask our elders and loved ones something they don’t really know but we ask anyway just because they are our elders and loved ones. Well, surely we can ask but it obviously won’t guarantee an accurate answer. It’s like asking your dad how to flip real estate properties when you’ve never seen him do it nor talk about it.
In a related context, just because they’re our parents or loved ones, it doesn’t mean we should follow their advice or ideas on money especially when we are fully aware that they are not wealthy themselves or are not engaging in activities to become wealthy.
If we grew up from a poor or middle-class household, it’s important then to be aware that the thoughts and behaviors we have developed about money won’t make us wealthy. We have to be humble enough to accept that at this point our current ideas and behaviors about money are inadequate for great wealth. We have to be humble enough to realize that we have to recreate and reprogram ourselves and our actions if we want to be wealthy.
Seek wealth from those who are already wealthy or are working their way to wealth.